I am commonly told

I am commonly told

that I must desire to spend the rest of my life

with myself first.

And those words,

meant to tie my esteem together,

rather tore my motivation apart.

I look in the mirror,

and see someone that I am learning to love,

but only to love in this moment.

I make promises with that reflection,

to love the tangles in her hair

and the messes on her floor,

and in return she promises

that the messes and tangles

will be straightened out in the morning.

I love those blonde chaotic locks

but I hope to see them grey,

and her outlandish decisions

bring a chuckle to my thoughts,

but I couldn't love her well enough

if she never trades them in for sense.

I have divorced all of the different people

that I used to be.

Each time taking what was mine,

and destroying what was theirs,

just as I had done at the heartbreaking end

of any of my other toxic relations.

I don't wish to spend the rest of my life

with myself,

because years from now,

I think I can do much better than her,

And she,

much better than me.